Trapped In Our Genetic Code?

I have a question that I ask myself quite often and I really haven't come to a conclusion on the answer yet. It's on the nature of awareness and perception. What makes one person have the "ability" to see things clearly - to put their life in perspective - evaluate the events of their past, the relationships they have and how that affects the current and future - and another person not? Are we born with it or can we "evolve" into the type of person that can do this?

In my case, I just kind of went through the early part of my life taking things as they came - mostly accepting them - not trying to think too hard. I would describe this feeling as "clouded" - I only say that because at around 17, I had the first of what I like to call "my enlightenment." I found some perspective. I questioned things in my life - questioned why I had to be the type of person I was made out to be - what society thought of me - I questioned what I believed - from my religion, to my ethics, my morals, my values. I thought long and hard - deep thoughts - I had moments of philosophical and psychological bliss - and also pain. I thought about all the relationships I had with friends, family - about my childhood and my young adulthood. Although much of it was hard - I found the root for many of my own problems and failures in relationships and discovered cause for why I had become the person I was at that point in my life - it also gave me great insight, confidence and freedom. I felt like I could take my life to different places from that point onward. I even wrote a book about some of it - which I still keep to this day.

I've gone through my life since that point always questioning - always trying to understand myself better. I have had other very important moments of enlightenment on my journey - one just in the past year that I am still passionately pursuing. But now, in yet another moment of reflection, I've asked myself the question I raised above. How come I was able to take the path and I can see things - is it will? Was I born with this and it just took time for me to grow to figure out how to unlock it? Does everyone have the ability to break down their own walls (as horrifying as it may be) and see things with clarity? Is there such a thing as a permanent mental block for people so that they just may never, no matter how much counseling or changes they have in their life, be able to do it?

I ask the questions because there probably isn't a day that goes by where I think of someone or talk to someone that acts or speaks in a way that makes me believe they don't have the perception of things in their life. Take an example - I might see a friend that constantly needs approval from her parents - she might go out of her way to make sure she is accepted - including putting herself and them through quite a lot of pain and annoyance. Is there never a point in her life where she just stops and thinks about her relationship with her parents - finds perspective - and sees that she does this. Maybe she tries to look into her past and figure out why. Does she know but represses it so deeply that it's no longer something she can use to change her actions? And if so, if she got counseling, could someone help her to find it, be aware of it and help her find the awareness or is it something that her genetic code might just prevent her from doing?

My initial thoughts on this topic was to believe that everyone has it in them to do it. That the blocks are put up as defenses and crutches by our mind as our ego protects itself and strengthens itself through patterns and needs. I believed that if anyone looked hard enough with enough clarity, they could see it all - they could come to terms with why they do the things they do based on their past, their relationships with their parents, what they've been told, maybe understand traumatic events in their life and at least acknowledge them. Moving past them would be another more difficult step - perhaps that would require more help from others. But now, as I sit here, I start to wonder about all this again - and it just seems so hard for me to see how people could not see some of this in their own lives - the huge blatant things that affect them and that they would regret if they could see with clarity. The giant boulders - not the little rocks. Some people (many I know), just walk through their life with no indication that they have this perception and awareness of themselves, their life and others.

It's shocking to me. And perhaps it's because once you get to this side of the fence, you become a little insensitive and take it for granted. Perhaps I have trivialized this process - I have lost understanding for how hard it is for someone to do this. I'm trying to dig a little deeper into myself to figure that out as well - I know that not everyone's past is the same or things that influence them - so I know the "enlightenment" process will be very different for each and every one of us.

But everyday that I talk to someone with this veil of non-awareness, I have to wonder why, at this stage of their life, they have never gotten to the point of questioning or trying to understand themselves better. It could be that maybe they have found it - and it's just my failure to perceive them that's wrong - so I'm continuing to work through this and wanted to take you along with me. Share your thoughts if you have any - thanks.