Here's the question: would you like to know the precise date of your death? Death is one of only a few absolute certainties in life - yet it's probably the one thing that is feared the most. Sure enough, your answer to this question would change everything - your life wouldn't be the same.
If you had the chance to know, even if you turned it down, would you think about it from time to time? Would you regret and ponder your choice down the road, especially as you got older? If you said yes, it would have the biggest impact. Many of your life's actions and plans would take a drastically different route - based on the THE date.
If you did know, you'd be able to plan ahead - you could make sure you left no loose ends. You could actually make your will and have it be up to date. You could arrange your own funeral and burial plans. You'd worry less about what you ate, what you shouldn't or couldn't do - you'd put off less - you might try sky diving, scuba diving, mountain climbing - why not? You could get the most of your life before you knew it was "your time."
You could make sure you wrote down all the stories you wanted to leave behind. You could make sure you traveled and saw the world. You could spend all the money you have saved up and budget it until the very last day. You could say goodbye to each and every family member or person that was close to you.
Clearly, this is the easy choice, right? Only if you say yes, could you handle it? Say you found out today, would you tell anyone? Would you wait to tell your family and friends - and if so, how long? Imagine how hard it would be to keep this sort of information to yourself.
I think that knowing your "date" would put an unbelievable responsibility on yourself. You'd be armed with information that I think could easily destroy you. This choice would change you - perhaps fundamentally at the core. Would you become a different person - someone you wouldn't want to be? What if you used the info for evil? You could borrow a ton of money right before you died, max out all your credit and live it up. You could take out an enormous insurance policy the day before and leave a fortune to your family. You could live without certain consequences because you would know when it would all end for you.
The hard part is, I think that many people may not know if they could handle it or not. You'd have to be pretty damn self-aware and strong. Once you say yes, you have the chains around your neck - you can't go back - there would be no forgetting the date. I think this fear is why most people answer no to the question.
For me, I think I could handle it. I would want to know. I'd keep the date close - closer than anything. I would choose not to share it with anyone or reveal that I knew - probably right up until the day I said my goodbyes. I know it would tear at me, it would give me many sleepless nights, especially as it got closer. It might torment me and push me to the very edge of my mental and emotional sanity. But I believe the rewards would be worth it.
I'm more afraid of not getting a chance to say goodbye - to not get a chance to make sure I leave my mark on this world than I am about death. Again, death is inevitable. This would help me to find a greater courage in my life - I think I would live my life with little or no regret - even more than I do now. Besides, I'm a very good planner, so my life would be one great big calendar and I'd make sure I made time for everything I want to do. Besides, I could put off updating my will...
Is the fear of knowing more powerful than the fear of death itself? What would you do if given the choice - I'd love to know...
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I would totally want to fucking know!!!! I wouldnt be pissing my life away with girlfriends or Aholes I didnt need to. I would go out there and do what made me happy, with the full knowledge of what lifestyle I could be happy with.
ReplyDeleteDeath is inevitable...but your question assumes the date is also set in stone some time in advance and is unalterable. Do you really believe in fate to that extent? Do you think there aren't choices we make along the way that might affect the timing of our death? And if you knew not only the date but also the "how" of it, wouldn't you then try to do something to alter it? I don't worry so much about the "when" but more about how I will feel when I look back at my life and the choices I made about how to live it when that time comes. Even if it's tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThe PantslessPoet makes an excellent point, which is even more poignant than your post. Do you believe in fate? The only way you could learn the date or method of your death is if time was pre-defined. If a destiny existed and no matter what you did or chose to do, the same inevitable outcome would prevail.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of Lost. They can go back in time, but simply cannot change ANYTHING. Even if they try, time will revert things back to the inevitable.
I do NOT believe that. I think that free will and the choices we make affect everything.
If there was a inevitable fate and timeline that we were traipsing along, I would want to know. Partly to plan and say goodbye, but partly to know that there is something beyond our understanding that guides everything... I wouldn't go so far as to use the G word, but it would certainly make me rethink my Atheistic philosophies...
Im with you on being afraid of not being able to say goodbye...there are ppl that i consider very good friends that i dont get to talk to everyday that dont live around here...and if something were to happen to me i wonder if they will even know, the concept of death scares the hell outta me...mostly because i dont know whats gonna happen after that....i mean to think one second im here the next second im not i cant handle thinking bout that...believe me i absolutely hate not knowing whats gonna happen but i think thats what makes our lives so special...we know we are gonna die and thats good enough for me...why should knowing the day make any difference we have the ability to live life to the fullest and without regret we can tell people how we feel about them everyday....as you said death is one of the few absolute certainties its no secret to anyone....its up to us to make everyday worthwhile because we know about our own mentality...we have the ability to make choices and i agree with zach that the choices we make affect everything we do and its up to us to make sure those choices allow us to lead the very best life possible cause you only get one our lives are what we make of them and the real question is if today was ure would you be happy with your life and what youve done...if not then just hope you get the chance to make ure life the way you want it....so in other words no i would not like to know exactly when im going to die first cause i know i wouldnt b able to handle it and second it shoudnt matter we all have the ability to make our life the best it can b and we should all take it
ReplyDeleteI would not want to know the exact date of my death. It would make the days leading up to that day be a constant "death countdown", which would make for a pretty low quality of life for me and my family. I wouldn't be able to keep it just to myself either. My wife and I aren't good at keeping secrets from each other, so she would know the date of my death too, which would make her pretty miserable. And what if you find out that the exact date of your death is tomorrow? No way to do everything, say goodbye to everyone, tie up every loose end in your life in one day. I say, let it happen when it happens.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, 100 %, no, I would not want to know. I'm with Vic in that I think not knowing plays a part in what makes life so special and meaningful. And I am with Eric in that I think knowing would destroy me. I would spend every moment thinking about the clock ticking, ticking. I am also with Pantsless and Zach in that I believe that a human life is made up of a series of events and moments that are built upon actions. There are twists and turns and fumbles and sidesteps. There is no road map-- what happens is always happening, moment to moment. I think this is what makes living so beautiful, and thrilling and terrifying. A human life is like a brilliantly plotted story or a intricately crafted piece of architecture. Each word or stone is in its place because of a purposeful action. Sometimes those actions are not fully realized by the author or architect-- they just happen and the hidden structure behind them is what makes the piece work. I don't want to know the how or why or when. I just want to experience the thing-- in this case, life.
ReplyDeleteI also think not knowing is one of the few things that bind us as a human race. We all (mostly) don't know. As Philip Larkin says in his "Aubade" (a poem that everyone with a beating heart should read at some point), death is the universal "anesthetic from which none come round." In fact, I am going to post a link to the poem because I think it so powerfully captures the feeling of not knowing and the fear that goes a long with that. This is a pure, base, human feeling. I think we all have those pre-dawn terrors about this thing that will happen.
http://www.poetryconnection.net/poets/Philip_Larkin/389
I would probably want to know ... but I wouldn't believe it. Because like others have said, I don't believe in fate, and I don't believe my life is predestined. Every choice I make every day alters my life story. So, you could give me a date today, but when I eat that Big Mac tomorrow, I might knock a week off my life, ya know?
ReplyDeleteAnd for sure with my big mouth, I would probably tell everyone ... which would leave my whole family on Death Watch - 2029 (or whatever year I'm supposed to die.) And I guess that would kind of suck. But I know myself, and given the choice to know or not know, I would want to know, because I would kick myself every single day for not finding out.
I don't want to know, mostly because we're not well structured as a society to handle that information. There are no coaches in the domain of "I know the date I'm gonna die" and frankly I have no interested in being a trailblazer in the domain of knowing when you're gonna die. Not enough bravery, nosiree.
ReplyDeleteThough that's not entirely true: lots of people have a good idea of when they're gonna die, and those are people with cancer or those that are terribly infirm or suicidal. So, you know, they know to a greater or lesser degree.
Does a NDE count? During a brief encounter with clinical death I was escorted into the white light, flanked by two angels, who allowed me to see myself as I really am... a part of everything. A peaceful, loving place where all is well and nothing down below can interfere with. I was laughingly escorted back down by the angels, who told me that I still had "things" to do. And even though I wonder what those "things" are, and if I am doing them... I have no fear of death. Sometimes when I meditate, I can recapture that state, if only for a fleeting moment and I know... no matter what occurs.. I am enfolding as I should and all is well.
ReplyDeleteI think the premise sketched out here presumes death via uncontrollable disease at a no-so-old age. But a "Death Date" would of course change greatly in importance depending on when in one's life the date is. And presumably on some day when I am old I will die. So X day at age 95(+/-10 yrs) vs. Y day at 95(+/-) wouldn't matter much at all in the way I would live my life. This is the only type of death date that I could believe in (one that is inexorable because it happens at an old age), because other (younger) dates of death would largely be under our control to change. And to echo what others have said, I don't believe in fate, and know that one has a significant say in how and when one dies (up to a certain age), and this is made especially so if one already knows the date in which it is supposed to occur! So, while it is hard to entertain the concept of an actual death date, I would say that I would want to know the date. If it is when I am old and senile, then cool! (what I hope), and if it is when I am young/middle aged, then I will make sure I don't die then.
ReplyDeleteAnd if it is uncontrollable at young age (cancer), then, as rob says, I would know anyway.
I agree with Zach, a post on fate would be cool. But keep up the good posts Chris, this is fun.
How do you know that death is not an illusion?
ReplyDelete