Beaching for the stars

Alright so I'm at the beach. Not right at this moment but that's the way we say it when we go down the shore for a weekend. But yesterday as i sat physically on the sand and looked out over the ocean, smelled the salt water and felt the breeze, my mind felt extreme relaxation and then began to fill with thoughts.

What I pondered is this: every time I come to this specific beach on Memorial Day (which I do every year), I get an extreme sense of calm - a peace - I find myself free of the chain that seem around my neck with work and other stresses in my daily life. I'll make thus very clear: this place is unbelievably special to me. So much so that I know I have to retire here one day, at least partially.

But this got me thinking what was so special about this place to me and that's where my crazy mind took over and the fun began. Some thoughts/reasons:

1. The place itself is calming. Not a lot of crazy noise, just the sound of the ocean waves really. Sand is soothing on your feet, the water is cool.
2. I've had great memories here. Being here reminds me of those things and the nostalgia unlocks emotional feelings from my past as current feelings.
3. I associate this place in my head as a getaway place. I've built it up before I even get here as a place of serenity, where I can relax and be soothed. The more I need it, given the state of my work and life, the heavier weight it takes on and perhaps the more likely it is to provide that sense of peace.
4. It represents key things in my life that I feel connected to and must have. It represents a dream - one that my parents talked about throughout their lifetime but never pursued. So it becomes even more connected to me because it then gets tied to dreams and goals and measurement against that pursuit.
5. It represents success. All the big financial brokers and millionaires bought 2nd homes down here years ago. Beautiful homes. And when you drive down you cant help but notice their BMWs in the parking lots and lavish accommodations. So maybe it's a little jealousy or maybe it pulls at me because I'm such a driven person with so much ambition.

So when I look across all of these things, I start to wonder even deeper things- is it this beach or any beach? Am I connected to this place in ways spiritually or meta-physically that others simply are not? Does this unlock memories, provoke dreams, and change the state of my brain so much when I am here more than when I just think of it? Yes yes and yes!

Theres so much more at play here than simple senses. I know that for sure but as you tell I haven't figured all of this out yet.

I thought I'd share some thoughts along my journey this weekend, and I encourage you to comment on this post and share your thoughts - tell me if you have similar places and why you think you are attached to them in ways unlike other people.

Boss or Leader: some great quotes

A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. - Russell H. Ewing

A good boss makes his men realize they have more ability than they think they have so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could. - Charles Erwin Wilson

Your real boss is the one who walks around under your hat. - Napoleon Hill

Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says "Go!" - a leader says "Let's go!" - E.M. Kelly

Leaders need to be optimists. Their vision is beyond the present. - Rudy Giuliani

The person who knows HOW will always have a job. The person who knows WHY will always be his boss. - Diane Ravitch

A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him. - H. S. M. Burns

Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself. - Thomas J. Watson

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. - Theodore Roosevelt

One measure of leadership is the caliber of people who choose to follow you. - Dennis A. Peer

People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives. - Theodore Roosevelt

Leadership is action, not position. - Donald H. McGannon

You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself. - Gene Mauch

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. - Elaine Agather

You don't have to hold a position in order to be a leader. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. - Robert Jarvik

You do not lead by hitting people over the head. That's assault, not leadership. - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Leaders don't create followers, they create more leaders. - Tom Peters

A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. - John C. Maxwell

A man is only a leader when a follower stands beside him. - Mark Brouwer

He who will not be named

Do you think when he was hiding up in that "mansion" for all these years that he knew we would eventually get him? Was he really not afraid to die or did he pee his pants like the coward he truly is when the Navy Seals had him cornered? Is it true that he held up a woman to use as a shield when we got close? I'm betting that he cried like a baby and begged for his life when faced with his inevitable death. Died like the coward he was, hiding behind young, impressionable youth with a promise of fabricated eternity and martyrdom.

Did we bring him to justice? One might have a strong argument that we did. Others might argue that he should have been captured and tried for all the horror he provoked and caused. I'd argue that he got off easy. There's no punishment I can think of that we could have laid upon him that could make up for the innocent lives he stole from this earth. The bloodshed, the pain, the suffering. We had no war against Islam. He brought war to us, and did it in the worst possible way.

I wish I believed in hell. And that he would truly end up there, as a rotting corpse for all eternity instead of the nirvana he believed he'd get for carrying out his message of violence. But I don't. So I have to sit here and wonder if he got off easy. His death was probably quick and painless. He received a proper burial at sea. He didn't leave an army of loved ones behind wondering how he could have been innocently killed like so many wives and husbands, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters on 911.

He will never be forgotten and that hurts deep in my heart because we can't change what happened. How he played the role of God and decided who should live and who should die amongst people that didn't want to be a part of his sick and demented perspective of the world. What right did he have?!

Justice served? Not in my book, but hopefully it sends a message. A few messages actually:

1. There is some universal moral code that we all subscribe to, whether we admit it or not. And rule #1 is to not cross the line and kill someone because they believe something different than you. If you do, you lose your right to inhabit this planet and be a part of society.
2. Don't mess with the USA. When we say we won't stop until we achieve our goal, we mean it. We bring peace to the world every single day and lend a helping hand when called upon most of the time. But violate our trust, threaten our people, cross the line - and that same hand will strike you down with a fury unlike any other.
3. We may never win the war on terror but we are not going to ever sit by and watch idly as our safety and freedom are threatened.

I have a lot of emotions at the moment. So much anger, so much sadness, so many thoughts of things i wish i didn't have to think of. Lost loved ones, violence and retaliation. He did this to us. And now he's gone. Will he have a legacy? Yeah. He got what he wanted. Without the heaven/nirvana part. But for me, he will live on not as the martyr he portrayed himself to be. If you haven't noticed, I haven't even said his name. He doesn't even deserve that much from me. He was not an iconic figure. He was not a leader. He deserves to be remembered for what he truly was...a murderer and a coward.

Trusting with Abandon

You can't tell people that you trust them and then not act out the part. That breaks the trust. Trust takes forever to earn and a heartbeat to lose. You have to just let go with someone when you give them your trust. All in. You have to let them walk down the dark path on their own to discover the thorns, the roses, and everything else that goes along with the journey. It is their journey at this point not yours. You have your own paths to traverse. To truly trust someone is to let them go and meet them at the other side.

So many people say that trust is one of the most important qualities when evaluating a boss, a relationship, a friendship. But ask yourself how willing you are to hand over the keys, disengage and deal with the results from their decisions? What does it buy you to trust? Think about how much more you can focus on the things that you own to drive results and accomplish your goals without having to focus on something that you have "trusted" another person to do.

Trust is contagious. If you trust them entirely and let them drive, they will trust you. And you will create an amazingly effective partnership. You will find yourself seeking out these types of people and surrounding yourself with them at work and in your personal life.

Think there's some merit in what I'm saying? Trust me...

The Cat And The Rock

It's quiet. I'm sitting outside on my porch and there is a new type of silence tonight. It's not a perfectly calm type of silence but more of an uneasy one though I wish it weren't so. Either way I'm glad to have it. And a night where it's just cool enough to feel the weather and know you exist.

My mind is wandering aimlessly with thoughts of what news I will hear...no news is not necessarily good news, but it's the state I'm in right now. Waiting and thinking. Feeling obligated to solve world hunger? Not quite but the temptation feels a bit like that. I feel that often. Too often really. When i sit still I feel like I'm letting myself down but when i get up to move that I deserve a break. Crazy, right? Wow, my blog has become a diary tonight. Maybe I should stick to writing more about work? Nah, too predictable.

And that's not me. Especially not tonight. I was called out here tonight. Fine, don't believe me. But I was sitting inside near the porch door and I distinctly saw a shadow move past and heard footsteps outside. I thought it must have been a cat. I looked outside cautiously and there was nothing there. But the footsteps called me. So i came out, unafraid and investigated. No cat. No one sneaking around except this night. And a gas lamp. And this nice cool breeze that keeps me here. So I sat down. Ever feel the night draw you in? Not my first time.

I suppose I should say something profound now that I'm sitting out here writing away with no cat. Here goes: you know how you can only fold a paper so many times? Then you hit a limit. Try it. Fold it in half, then in half again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I dare you. Then you hit a wall and you have this tiny mass of folded paper, like a rock. Why do people do that to themselves? Try not to be that rock of paper.

Enjoy this night...

Customer dis-Service

Customer service. Amazing to me how hard it seems for companies to grasp how critical this is. It is the single biggest reason we come back to a store, a website or buy a product or service. It's also the single biggest reason we leave. Our loyalty is tied directly to the hip to exceptional focus on customer and the service we get. We don't want automated call center systems with robotic voices designed to save them money. We don't want to wait in a queue for what seems like an eternity to get them to fix something they screwed up. We don't want excuses about how it's a system problem or that they can't fix it without transferring us to another person or department.

Cheaper prices don't make up for lackluster service. We look at competitors with cheaper prices, but we leave because of the lack of customer service and support. The top loyalty or membership companies retain and grow their customer base by putting them first. Build systems and processes to make life easier for members, not for the bottom line via cost cutting.

"I'm so sorry sir to have made this difficult for you. I sincerely apologize. We are so priveliged to have your business and want to do everything we can to maintain the highest level of support and confidence in us. I will go ahead and take care of this right away (no questions asked).". When's the last time you felt that reassured that they had your back? Vs. struggling like hell to talk to a real person and then feeling like you are repeating yourself to try to get them to even understand the problem that they created in the first place? And confidence that they will resolve it quickly? That it won't happen again? I've talked to so many agents, clerks or salesman that come across like they really just don't care. How does that work? I'm the customer!

It shocks me that companies don't understand this and invest in this. They seem to spend more time and money after the fact trying to lure customers back with calls, emails and direct mail campaigns promising new deals, better offers and more value - but the same crappy service that drove you away stains every message, every campaign.

It's been so painful to find a company with a real "customer-first" approach that when I do, I'm that much more loyal. I'm attracted to these companies, and when I find them, I'm even willing to pay more to stick around. And I do stick around, for years - maybe my lifetime. I don't think I'm alone on this. Just funny how few companies are paying attention...

The Greatest Skill

Thought for the day: adaptability might be one's most effective skill in the workplace. Think about how often you are asked to wear a different hat at work, play a different role and be successful. The more you are surrounded with these type of people, the more you collectively get done.

I've learned that this is something that can be evaluated in a very binary manner, black or white - either you have this ability or you don't. And if you don't, you will likely never get it. If you do, you're the type of person that can learn a new skill, be it a new role at work such as business analysis or project management. Or trade skills like carpentry, tiling a floor, plumbing. Recreational skills like basketball, golf, or billiards. What's crazier is that most of the people I know that have this skill not only can learn new things quickly and effectively, they tend to have the ability to master them as well. Which is scary if you are someone without this skill in a specific role, watching someone else learn your trade in no time and quickly outperform you.

These are the types of people that any organization should work tirelessly to find. These are the people you'd want day 1 if you started your own business venture. These are the people you'd want if trapped on a desert island. These are the people I have found a way to surround myself with and I don't take this for granted in the least.